Never Leave Yourself Unattended amongst boxed tortillas. You may have dressed yourself up nicely for a night on the town but your drunken stupor, sweaty upper lip and broken corpse give you about as much sex appeal as an orphanage fire.

By Emma. Thanks for the photo Chris. Miami 2010©

Never Leave Yourself Unattended turning the other cheek. Did someone steal your invisibility blanket? Are you a shapeshifter last seen as a fly? Or maybe a member of the Blue Man Group who has sweated off his makeup? …..either way, thanks for saving me a seat.

Photo by Troy, New York City 2010©.

Never Leave Yourself Unattended having fallen from the roof of your hostel.  You broke every bone in your body on impact but saved the beer you spent your last $2 on. Excellent.

Thank you for the picture Eric. 2010©.

Never Leave Yourself Unattended depressed that your cameo appearance on the final episode of the Sopranos didn’t get your career started. The only offers you’ve had so far have been NBC’s The Biggest Loser and a $5 blow job from the toothless 68 year old bartender.

Thanks for the picture Melissa. Miami 2010©.

Never Leave Yourself Unattended looking like my 5am soggy, falling apart taco from Taco Bell. Your soft taco supreme and two bell peppers will be aching tomorrow thanks to your wise choice of cold cement mattress!!

By Emma, Thanks for the picture Issac!! Las Vegas 2010©.

Never Leave Yourself Unattended when your dressed as a Bear for a baseball team. It would appear your ability to hibernate makes you under qualified for the job to motivate a baseball team but perfectly suited for the NLYU mascot. Congratulations.

Thanks Mila. Miami 2010©.

There is only one thing worse than forgetting which drink you slipped the Rohypnol into, and that’s waking up 10 hours later attached to your hotel hallway wall and realizing it wasn’t hers.

Thanks Issac, Las Vegas 2010©

Never Leave Yourself Unattended exercising chivalry. Like Superman with Kryptonite, this purse has made your genitals retreat into your body like a tortoise head and exhausted your will to live. You have succumbed to every older woman’s plan to kill their elderly husbands with krypto-purse and replace them with younger men and ultimately take over the world!!!!

By Emma.. Thanks for the photo Lourdes Miami 2010©

Never Leave Yourself Unattended during your midnight workout. Your roommate came home to find your drooling sacrificed corpse on a space age testicle and didn’t know whether to call the police, fire brigade or the X-Files.

By Emma. Thanks for the photo Kristen!!! Los Angeles 2010.

Never Leave Yourself Unattended outside a porta potty. You spent $200 on your Coachella Music Festival ticket only to drop some phony acid and loiter outside a poop portal. Your only chance of happiness is to find a girl who is really tripping and convince her you are Dr Who and this is your Tardis which can transport you both to any point in time and space,……. but only if you’re both naked!

By Emma. Thanks for the picture Ian Willis, Miami 2010©.